To All The Poor Betta Fish I Owned When I Was Younger

… I’m Sorry!

June 25, 2026

4–6 minutes

When I was younger, I loved having a Betta fish. I had it in a small round fish bowl sitting on my nightstand. It had some colorful rocks at the bottom and a few plastic plants. I enjoyed naming the fish and watching them swim around. Inevitably, they all either slowly died or jumped to their deaths between the washer and dryer when my mother would attempt a water change. I could not understand why my fish kept dying. Eventually, due to the continual deaths and waste of money, we stopped keeping fish. Thank goodness! Those poor fish!

In my adult life, I wanted to keep a Betta fish again. I am always fascinated by their beautiful colors and how graceful they look in those little cups at the pet store. I bought a blue Betta and started my research. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

I very quickly learned why all my family’s fish had died. We were feeding them fish flakes, but online said to feed them Betta food that floats like the bugs they would hunt in the wild. We had no heaters in the tanks or filters, and I needed to quickly purchase these for this fish as well. I realized the tiny critter keeper I had picked up was not big enough, so I quickly ordered a 5 gallon tank (minimum suggested size for a single Betta fish). I realized they do not like open water and need a place to rest since some breeds have heavy fins. I purchased some plastic plants and a resting spot leaf to attach to the side of the tank.

I realized myths about Betta fish have been heavily circulated. I had heard that Betta fish enjoy living in puddles of murky water, so the logical conclusion would be that a small tank and stagnant room temperature water is an upgrade for these fish. However, I was wrong. I had bought into the myths of Betta habitats. Their natural habitat is, “approximately 1 square meter (or 3ft sq). These territories are the thickly vegetated, slow moving streams, marshes, large vegetated drainage ditches (klongs) and rice paddies of Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam … These ecosystems are shallow, though deeper than many aquaria, and extensive, providing ample space for establishment of such territories as well as a wide area for hunting insect larvae and finding mates.” (Fish Care, 2011)

This is a big difference from how I was told they normally live. Sure, they do live in puddles sometimes, but only during a dry season and until they can jump to a bigger area of water. Research showed me, “Though rather than continuing to live happily in this situation, bettas merely endure these predicaments and opt to escape whenever possible. Indeed, being trapped in a puddle prevents them from finding adequate food and mates, and unless they can escape, these fish are doomed to either starvation or death from toxin buildup, and at best, an inability to find a mate and reproduce.” (Fish Care, 2011) I had to reframe and fix how I treated my Betta fish. Just because they can survive in a murky puddle does not mean they can thrive in a murky puddle. I realized I was expecting my fish to do just that.

Ironically, during this time, I was also learning a lot about myself. I was experiencing the world outside of my family’s home, and I was learning that other people did not share all the experiences that I did. When comparing my experience with others, I realized that many people turned out well rounded and healthy without living in the circumstances I did. While continuing to take care of my Betta fish, I realized that I was living in some murky waters. In fact, I was living in a puddle. My water was murky and the toxins in my puddle were starting to build up. People (myself included) kept wondering why I was not thriving in my life. I needed to jump out of my puddle and keep jumping until I found some deeper water. I needed to search for a territory to make my own. Just because I could survive in a murky puddle does not mean I can thrive in a murky puddle. I realized I was expecting myself to do just that.

I made a jump to a new puddle and a few more jumps since then, and I feel I have finally found a bigger area of water to swim in. I am establishing a territory of my own. It is definitely not perfect, and I am sure some dry seasons will eventually come. But, for now I am positioning myself to eventually thrive. I had no chance of thriving in a murky puddle. Now, when I am ready, I can do more than just survive.

So, this is my message to you: Are you living in a puddle? Is someone else expecting you to thrive in an environment that is barely survivable? Are you expecting yourself to thrive when you are set up to only just survive? I didn’t realize I needed to jump from my puddle until I realized how limiting my environment was. Maybe you needed to read this today, or maybe this plants a thought in your mind to mull over for now. My wish for you is that you become awakened to any puddles you are living in and consider jumping to greater waters. With love.