The “What” and the “Why”

The Goal: I have had the amazing experience of meeting others who have gone through stuff. Realizing there exists other human beings who share similar experiences made my world feel a lot less small. I mean there are even people out there that share experiences with me that society would rather us not discuss…ie. Trauma, suicide, ect. I want to pass this beautiful connection along. Hope you feel a little more seen and a little less alone.

More About “Heal Without Hurry”:

I thought healing was supposed to be the process by which I get my stuff together and jump back into my life the way it was. I figured it was as simple as putting it in a box and tying a big beautiful bow around it. I was hoping to send a message to everyone that, “I am fully healed” or “I’m fine now.” That was a crock of turds. Real healing is looking a heck of a lot more like sorting through a giant mess of thoughts that tie through the experiences of my life from little me all the way till now. It is looking like having to realize anger is a major part of healing, when I am totally an introvert that can’t even fathom expressing anger in front of others. It is looking like vulnerability in a safe community to realize that while my internal struggle is only felt by me, others have had the same thoughts and feelings. It has looked like finding relief in hearing someone else admit that they too have tried to end their life.

For the perfectionistic part of myself, I hate to admit that I am finding healing to be something dangerous to rush. I can look back and realize how rushing this process has led to me experiencing it over and over again. I am slowly accepting that I need to take life at my own pace. I am learning that it is safe to just be. A major part of me does not believe this yet, but I know it is true. I am choosing to heal without hurry and show myself some grace, and I am offering this blog as a space for you to join on your own journey [of course, at your own pace].

It does not feel genuine for me to say this blog is something I wanted to make so people realize “they are not alone.” I think that feels so hollow because to say it is one thing, to find it to be true is quite another. So, welcome. You will find real experience and boat load of metaphors to help make the depression experience more relatable. I also recognize there is a lack of resources available for mental health, so I am creating a running list of the favorite ones I have found. With love.

Note: I am posting from the perspective of someone who has depression and anxiety. I have gone through Intensive Outpatient Therapy (a fancy way to say a lot of hours per week of group therapy) and hospitalization for mental health. My name is intentionally left off of the site to promote privacy as I am discussing personal issues and desire to be as open and honest about how it really feels. If you are reading this as a leader of group therapy or mental hospital staff, please feel free to share this with any one who might find it useful.

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